The Moon became full at 2:30 am this morning while most of us were trying to sleep. I certainly was not as I tossed and turned with my fabulous PTSD symptoms in tow. Yes it was a long night filled with emotions and a lot of guilt.
Well I am still thinking deep down maybe if I had been a better girlfriend he would not have become abusive. Maybe if I tried harder to have kept him from drinking. My head keeps telling me its all crazy and these were his choices and it was not my fault. This does not keep me from having these feelings though. Thank the Goddess for a good therapist. She helped me see this is normal and it too shall pass.
So after my fabulous therapy I wanted to go pick up my new phone, which just caused a whole new rush of emotions mostly frustration and anger. I had to go try to pick up my new phone three times before I finally got a nice person who actually handed me my new phone. Of course now I was late for an appointment. So running around I did spend the day like the chicken with her head cut off. I was still pretty much Okay with that.
Than of course information was given to me about a past friend, lover, whatever you want to call him. Still spending time making up really stupid stuff about me. Seriously? What the hell is wrong with that guy that he needs to think or have others think I am stalking him. The question is why are you spending time talking about me. Am I right? Well after going into an emotional uproar and than spouting my anger out on Facebook. I realized what kind of friend tells me this stuff when they did not even defend me? I have always defended my friends and if I did not want to get into the middle of it. I would just say hey we are not discussing this! This topic is not in the grab bag of our day! Alrighty!
I also realized I still have a lot of emotional junk running around inside of me. Maybe I should use this Full Moon in Cancer to get some of it out. A good cleansing ritual was due.
So after gathering some supplies including my Starfish and shells I had myself a little cleansing full Moon ritual.
I started off with a shower and while using my lemon bar of soap (lemon is great for purification) I envisioned myself in white light glowing all over and around my body. Than wrapped myself up in a towel and came to the altar Skyclad. Sometimes it just feels right.
I than cleansed myself using all the elements and the Moon herself.
Moon- I used a selenite wand and rubbed it all over my body while seeing the moons full glow all around me moving all those negative thoughts and energies out.
Earth- I pinched a bit of salt all around me.
Air- I lighted my moon Incense and than my Mugwort and Sage wand and cleansed my body in the smoke.
Fire- I lit my Einganna Dragon candle and the 2 silver ball candles. I asked Einganna (which is my protection Dragon she hangs out in the hallway sometime I shall show you a picture or maybe right now.) to protect me and help me think happy positive thoughts.
Water- I drank some Iced Green tea and thought of a pale green light covering my body in emotional healing.
Spirit- I rubbed down my whole body in lotion thinking of my spirit being cleansed of all guilt, frustration, anger, and any other negative thoughts.
After all this I thanked all the elements and the Moon.
I grounded myself with my Edamame Dip and some tortilla chips. Edamame is great for growth.
I adapted this recipe from another one you can find the original at http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/edamame_dip/
Mine is a bit different.
Edamame Dip Recipe
- 6 ounces of shelled Edamame frozen
- 1/2 cup, packed,spinach leaves
- 1/2 cup plain greek yogurt
- 1/2 avocado, peeled, pitted, roughly chopped
- 1/2 lime juiced
- 1-2 garlic cloves crushed
- 5 shakes of Tabasco (less or more to taste)
1 Bring 1 quarts of water to a boil. Add the shelled edamame. Return to a simmer and cook for 5 minutes, or until cooked through and tender. Drain with cold water.
2 Place drained cooked edamame in a food processor. Pulse several times. Add the spinach. Pulse again. Add the remaining ingredients, and pulse until well puréed. Add salt if needed.
Makes about 1 cup
I am feeling much better and less angry now.