Saturday, January 14, 2012
For weeks now I have heard the call of the Goddess Freyja. Seeing her image in many different places and just feeling that strong pull to work with her. SO last night on Friday the 13th I did just that, and had a lovely ritual and felt so empowered afterwards it was a great feeling.
I used the oils I bought from a shop on Etsy as well called Artisan Witchcrafts . You should check them out! I had bought a black cat oil, and a spiced rose oil both very nice oils.
I used them during ritual because Freyja is a Goddess of love and lust (rose oil), and also likes cats (black cat oil) even though from what I have read she prefers gray cats I am sure she likes them all. I mean who does not like cats? Mean people do not like cats. Well that is just one of my opinions. Although if you’re allergic I will let it slide.
So the ritual included these oils, Green tea w/cranberry, an Apple (honeycrisp), a small cat statue, and a few other things having to do with a spell. I also had a prayer to Freyja I read out loud as well. All in all it was a great ritual and I now plan to make an altar for her as soon as possible.
Than last night after all of this I was introduced to the website Pinterest! This is an awesome website and as my friend Wendi said "I went from Facebook cocaine to Pinterest crack! What have you done?” Its true Pinterest is highly addicting but so awesome. A great way to express things you like and enjoy and share with others. If you have not joined you really should find someone who can invite you.
So that was my Friday the 13th. How was yours?
Monday, January 9, 2012
The Moon became full at 2:30 am this morning while most of us were trying to sleep. I certainly was not as I tossed and turned with my fabulous PTSD symptoms in tow. Yes it was a long night filled with emotions and a lot of guilt.
Well I am still thinking deep down maybe if I had been a better girlfriend he would not have become abusive. Maybe if I tried harder to have kept him from drinking. My head keeps telling me its all crazy and these were his choices and it was not my fault. This does not keep me from having these feelings though. Thank the Goddess for a good therapist. She helped me see this is normal and it too shall pass.
So after my fabulous therapy I wanted to go pick up my new phone, which just caused a whole new rush of emotions mostly frustration and anger. I had to go try to pick up my new phone three times before I finally got a nice person who actually handed me my new phone. Of course now I was late for an appointment. So running around I did spend the day like the chicken with her head cut off. I was still pretty much Okay with that.
Than of course information was given to me about a past friend, lover, whatever you want to call him. Still spending time making up really stupid stuff about me. Seriously? What the hell is wrong with that guy that he needs to think or have others think I am stalking him. The question is why are you spending time talking about me. Am I right? Well after going into an emotional uproar and than spouting my anger out on Facebook. I realized what kind of friend tells me this stuff when they did not even defend me? I have always defended my friends and if I did not want to get into the middle of it. I would just say hey we are not discussing this! This topic is not in the grab bag of our day! Alrighty!
I also realized I still have a lot of emotional junk running around inside of me. Maybe I should use this Full Moon in Cancer to get some of it out. A good cleansing ritual was due.
So after gathering some supplies including my Starfish and shells I had myself a little cleansing full Moon ritual.
I started off with a shower and while using my lemon bar of soap (lemon is great for purification) I envisioned myself in white light glowing all over and around my body. Than wrapped myself up in a towel and came to the altar Skyclad. Sometimes it just feels right.
I than cleansed myself using all the elements and the Moon herself.
Moon- I used a selenite wand and rubbed it all over my body while seeing the moons full glow all around me moving all those negative thoughts and energies out.
Earth- I pinched a bit of salt all around me.
Air- I lighted my moon Incense and than my Mugwort and Sage wand and cleansed my body in the smoke.
Fire- I lit my Einganna Dragon candle and the 2 silver ball candles. I asked Einganna (which is my protection Dragon she hangs out in the hallway sometime I shall show you a picture or maybe right now.) to protect me and help me think happy positive thoughts.
Water- I drank some Iced Green tea and thought of a pale green light covering my body in emotional healing.
Spirit- I rubbed down my whole body in lotion thinking of my spirit being cleansed of all guilt, frustration, anger, and any other negative thoughts.
After all this I thanked all the elements and the Moon.
I grounded myself with my Edamame Dip and some tortilla chips. Edamame is great for growth.
I adapted this recipe from another one you can find the original at http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/edamame_dip/
Mine is a bit different.
Edamame Dip Recipe
- 6 ounces of shelled Edamame frozen
- 1/2 cup, packed,spinach leaves
- 1/2 cup plain greek yogurt
- 1/2 avocado, peeled, pitted, roughly chopped
- 1/2 lime juiced
- 1-2 garlic cloves crushed
- 5 shakes of Tabasco (less or more to taste)
1 Bring 1 quarts of water to a boil. Add the shelled edamame. Return to a simmer and cook for 5 minutes, or until cooked through and tender. Drain with cold water.
2 Place drained cooked edamame in a food processor. Pulse several times. Add the spinach. Pulse again. Add the remaining ingredients, and pulse until well puréed. Add salt if needed.
Makes about 1 cup
I am feeling much better and less angry now.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Last year was a bad year not just for me but a lot of people in my community and in my life. I started off with a dear friend passing away and going off to the Summerlands. He will be missed.
Than my ex boyfriend who I had been with for 6 years or so got out of prison and I the fool thought I could handle it and I could take care of things. I only ended up in a mess of a situation. Many people will never understand what happened or how I could think that way. No one knows what one will do until the time comes it is a lesson I learned myself. I am a less judgmental person towards those who have been in abusive relationships and been through trauma because of my own situation.
Than not long after that I got myself pregnant with twins to make it even more interesting. I could not just do things the normal way. No of course not! Soon after becoming pregnant realized i really had no feeling for the Father in fact maybe I did but not the kind you usually have. To be honest even though I wanted to have more kids I was miserable in my position and was not doing well health wise either. I already had diabetes and chronic leukemia. The Doctors said it was possible but it really did not work out for me. I soon had a miscarriage and out the door the Father went. Apparently we were never even friends.
I also during all this realized many friends were not as they seemed and some I had simply outgrown and others were just not good people to begin with. I ignored the signs because i want to see the best in people and I ended up paying quite a bit for making such bad choices and judgment.
The next half of the year was dealing with court issues due to my poor decisions, and trying to get an education. I am proud to say I passed my first math class, and now in 2012 have just started the Algebra.
I lost 67 lbs. in 2011 but gained back 7 in December. A lot was coming to a head in December and so I let myself go a little. I had the Holidays some financial issues, and the end of the court situations.
I will say during all of these bad selections and facing the consequences of them I met some wonderful people who have helped me through, and some others also who stuck by me despite what others have said or tried to make them think of me. How lucky I am to have these people in my life. Friends are a precious commodity and should be treated with loyalty and delicately. Never take your friends for granted!
So here we are 2012 I have great plans for you! What are those plans you may ask.... you will see soon enough!