Judgement Moms

Recently I thought I might be pregnant because sometimes when it comes to sex and men I become an idiot. That is Ok I accept this about myself and its all good. Anyways during this time I thought about if I managed to get through a whole pregnancy ( I tend to miscarry) how would I manage. These thoughts were the normal ones of finances and would the Father actually help me etc...

Than another thought occurred the one that truly horrified me!

JUDGEMENT!!!

The judgement of pretentious parents in the town I live in. You know the types I am a better Mother than thou. I meet them all the time. I cannot stand these Moms who go about flaunting how all their food and clothing and even their diapers are organic. How they only carry their children about in cloth Papooses, and they would never put their child in a baby swing while doing household chores.

My beautiful daughter did not get all organic food in fact i used the jarred stuff and she loved it. I use disposable diapers and I loved them!  We had a front carry on for her that clipped off to become a baby seat which was awesome for walks in the mall when we stopped and had dinner.  The best thing of all was that baby swing and Blues Clues on the TV so I could get the cleaning done and make dinner. I like the way my daughter turned out fine thank you!

(Bean as a little kid.) 

I can see me now trying to do all of this around here. I would be shunned by quite a few other Mothers. Hell I already have been. I am not saying that organic noms and fancy green baby stuff is not awesome. What I am saying is we all parent differently and it does not make us bad Mothers when we say the hell with it and use a cheaper or easier way of doing things.

So if your a Mom have you ever felt judged by other Mothers? Did you ever let your daughter eat a mushed banana off the ground and get the evil eye?

So here we are in 2012, and Bye Bye 2011

2012 here I come! This is the Mantra in my head for the past three days. I am looking forward to a year where my life is in a better place and improvements are made as well as less stress. So I push forward and so far feel like yes something amazing is going to happen this year, but its going to be good things.

Last year was a bad year not just for me but a lot of people in my community and in my life. I started off with a dear friend passing away and going off to the Summerlands. He will be missed.

Than my ex boyfriend who I had been with for 6 years or so got out of prison and I the fool thought I could handle it and I could take care of things. I only ended up in a mess of a situation. Many people will never understand what happened or how I could think that way. No one knows what one will do until the time comes it is a lesson I learned myself. I am a less judgmental person towards those who have been in abusive relationships and been through trauma because of my own situation.

Than not long after that I got myself pregnant with twins to make it even more interesting. I could not just do things the normal way. No of course not! Soon after becoming pregnant realized i really had no feeling for the Father in fact maybe I did but not the kind you usually have. To be honest even though I wanted to have more kids I was miserable in my position and was not doing well health wise either. I already had diabetes and chronic leukemia. The Doctors said it was possible but it really did not work out for me. I soon had a miscarriage and out the door the Father went. Apparently we were never even friends.

I also during all this realized many friends were not as they seemed and some I had simply outgrown and others were just not good people to begin with. I ignored the signs because i want to see the best in people and I ended up paying quite a bit for making such bad choices and judgment.

The next half of the year was dealing with court issues due to my poor decisions, and trying to get an education. I am proud to say I passed my first math class, and now in 2012 have just started the Algebra.

I lost 67 lbs. in 2011 but gained back 7 in December. A lot was coming to a head in December and so I let myself go a little. I had the Holidays some financial issues, and the end of the court situations.

I will say during all of these bad selections and facing the consequences of them I met some wonderful people who have helped me through, and some others also who stuck by me despite what others have said or tried to make them think of me. How lucky I am to have these people in my life. Friends are a precious commodity and should be treated with loyalty and delicately. Never take your friends for granted!

So here we are 2012 I have great plans for you! What are those plans you may ask.... you will see soon enough!